The Raise

Warning: Adult comedy. Proceed at your own risk.

The Raise

The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely, P. Niss

The Response:

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,

the administra tion rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders

of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area

and are often seen visiting other locations.

You do not take initiative - you need to be

pressured and stimulated in order

to start working.

You leave the workplace rather

messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary

safety regulations, such as wearing

the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated

work area before you have completed

the assigned task. And if that were not

all, you have been seen constantly

entering and exiting the workplace

carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely, BR V. Gina