Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The Raise

Warning: Adult comedy. Proceed at your own risk.

The Raise

The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely, P. Niss

The Response:

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administra tion rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders
of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area
and are often seen visiting other locations.

You do not take initiative - you need to be

pressured and stimulated in order
to start working.

You leave the workplace rather
messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing

the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated

work area before you have completed

the assigned task. And if that were not

all, you have been seen constantly

entering and exiting the workplace
carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, BR V. Gina


Rhonda said...

Heh, thanks, I needed that this morning...the joke, that is. ;)

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy(Kim & John) said...

I am cracking up..
I had to have my husband come and read that...
Made my day...
You are tooo funny..

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

That is to funny... hehehe... you are crazy... hehehe

Sophie's Mom said...

Can't believe I hadn't heard that one before! I think I might have to send that one to my mother...

You're a hoot, girl!

A day in the life of the little sister from China. said...

OMG, that's the funniest thing I have ever read!

LP in MI

Yoli said...

RONY!!! That is the best!!

cougchick said...

He seems like more of a "boob" to me. Ha!


Hell yeah, No raise for you, Mr. P.Niss!! That is too funny! You just made my night!! Now let's see just what Mr. P. Niss does with the rest of it. lol

Kathryn said...

Very funny !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gail said...

This is THE best!!!!!!

E. said...

I'm almost too tired to wiggle my pinky finger, but that made me laugh out loud!! Hysterical! :)

Steffie B. said...

OMW....that was hilarious....only you Rony...only you! ;)

Diana said...

Freakin' funny!!!!!