Newsworthy

Posh says new L.A. house ‘totally major’


Maybe not, but you know it's a slow day in the media world when this is all they can come up with. I'm going on the record and stating I had that hairstyle 10 years ago. Have the pictures to prove it, AND I think mine looked better.

And this?

Spears-Federline divorce papers may go public

Umm, yeah, right who saw this coming? I had to snicker when I read this.

Lohan’s parents may be near divorce agreement

This is my fav. See, I told you those big glasses would come back in style! Smokin' hot.

But the big news of the day was my girls. Don't act all surprised. Is there anything any cuter? Check them out in their "baby-suits"!

The girls had their 2 year check-up--yeah and I got a tongue lashing for being 2 months late-blah, blah, blah bite me. (birthday in June). Anyhoots, Abbey is in the 95th percentile in weight and 75th percentile in height, weighs 33 pounds and is 33 inches tall. Katie Only slightly behind her is in the 90th percentile in

weight and 70th percentile in height and weighs 28 pounds and is 32 inches tall. Did I mention this is news?! Doctor was pleased to hear we

have no eating issues--- no shit-- I'm feeding monkeys. He probably accessed that mommy could stand to loose 10 pounds too. He went on to say he normally hears complaints from mom that child will only eat th

ree things. I beamed like a school girl who had just one a spelling bee on account he was so "hot" and gushed "no, no, no we don't have those kind of problems. We have other issues, true but I was too dazed to mention.

Yep, good eaters. He finished up by sticking them with the Hep A and their final meningitis shot. Clean bill of health. Surprisingly they did fairly well I think they were a bit smitten with the tall dark man. Funny, now when I think about it my girls seem to have a thing for the men. Hopefully this is not what's to come!

Here's a snapshot of the continuing movie we call our life. I know, I'm a gluten for pain. Yep, I decided since we hadn't been to the pool in a week to give it another try. You probably remember I really hate community waterin g holes (pools-you crazy people) and especially the one in our hood which causes my blood pressure to rise and my forehead to get that funny line it that's not going away. Anyway, we had barely lathered up with our sunscreen and were settling in oh, all of about 10 minutes when three what appeared to be 9 year olds showed up in the baby pool. Just minutes before I found myself wondering how long it would take for the youth to disregard the big bad note on the front and back gate. But much to my chagrin they were with their mother! There is no way into the baby pool but through the gate, (with the note attached and hanging bigger than Shaq) so, I can only surmise that she couldn't read, was blind, had her face pulled too tight from her lift or spoke a language only animals understood. Yep, they looked like animals. At any rate within seconds of her tribe running and jumping as if competing for the Olympic dive team and making wave s bigger than the effing "Titanic the hot lifeguard stood before us like a g-d. As I drolled watched him flex his muscles and his new found authority. It is his job. Managing the pool that is, not flexing his muscle

s, although what a bonus. He interogated asked how old the boys were one by one. One of the perps paused for a brief moment and eyeballed him as if to dare him and gave him the "what are you gonna do look, and replied 8 (liar) um, no, I meant 10 he said. I sat there rolling my eyes behind the oh so dark shades thinking I can't believe this shit. Just for the record I'd kick my girls asses for this type of behavior! The lifeguard tossed all of them out one by one. The kids mom(yeah, believe it or not wasstill there) who sat in the corner with her ever so watchful eye was like "wha"? As if she had just been punished. Well, she did. But she and her klan collected what was left of their self respect and scurried back to the "big" pool. Blood pressure still in check. Thank you "hot" life saver.

I heard the following conversation as I eavesdropped accidentally overheard a couple rich tweenie girls discussing, boys--while eating lunch pool side.

Rich Tweenster #1: "Oh, yeah, I mean he is soooo hot."
Me: Grinning to myself. I remember the day. Shut-up, I'm not so old I forgot.
Rich Tweenster #2 "I know, I saw him looking at me".
Me: Sorta giggling at this point.
Rich Tweenster #1 "Do you think he likes you"?
Me: Thinking, g-d I hope he does. Rejection so hurts. I remember. Still.
Rich Tweenster #2 "No waaaay, he is such a pla-yar, he wouldn't hook-up with me.
Me: Big snort. (did they hear that?) Did she just say player? And Hook-up?! Lol. Now this is funny. Middle school boys players now. The hook-up scares me though. G-d it's a different world. Or these kids in my neighborhood are growing up way too fast. Note to self: must move to the country, no isolated country off the coast of some remote island before girls start school.