It's a bird, it's a plane"......

No , it's just my can! I might as well slapped a sticker on my ass that said "Air-bus ". Here are the gory details of the day.

Many moons ago a dear friend of mine told me a truly funny story-similar to the one I'm going to share with you. At the time I remember thinking "g-d I would die if if anything like that happened to me. (insert dying-slowly). So, today started off like any typical day in our household. On the treadmill. No, not that kind of treadmill silly--you've seen my ass! I was running out the door (typical) to run some errands(Super Tar-jay) before going to friends house for a little play time for mommy and girls. Surprisingly I was dressed and ready to go. Meaning showered and in real clothes--A dress-not running/lounging outfit. *gasp* Even smacked some lipstick on too! The only colour my lips see are dry and cracked most days. Um-yummy. Anyway, back to my story.

I was running in the store (got a great parking spot thanks to my handi-sticker-compliments of broken leg) and felt a little breeze on the "back-side", however didn't think anything about it. After all I'm on a mission. I do notice a couple of sideways glances and even a smirk here and there. But no time to think about that. I have to get home and load the chicklet's into the car. So, I'm racing through the store with a vengeance. Grabbing and tossing things in the cart. Do I really need this? This girl is completely focused. Must hurry. More stares. I'm thinking to myself "umm, must still have it, yeah they think I'm hot"! So I'm feeling a little (lot) confident so I swing my rear a little more as I hurry down the aisles. I even put on my best smile for all to see. Yep, I'm feeling totally full of myself now and believe that I really do look hot. They as much as have told me with the way they're staring and smiling at me now. Uh-now would be a good time to share that I was wearing my favorite Diane Von Fustenburg wrap dress and my slinky strappy sandles. Start laughing now. I feel this little peck on my shoulder and I'm staring at one of those cute little Tar-jay greeter's She says "honey, I just thought I'd let you know that your dress uh might need straightening". For a second I didn't know what she was saying. And then the colour drained from my face as I reached around and grabbed my dress. Sure enough my dress was tucked inside my big momma bloomers! Oh my g-d how did this happen? "Um-um---uh thank you", as I reached around and tried frantically covering the "neon blinking light". My mind was racing. Oh man. Not a pretty picture. But at least I remembered to put on underwear as I managed(how does one forget?) not to put on my damn deodorant. I distinctly noticed an aroma that smelled much like an orangutan as I was scurrying outta the store. Shockingly it was me. Yeah, I was stinkin to high heaven. Note to self: Don't return anytime soon---for anything! Wondering now did I see anyone I knew?! G-d.