Thursday, May 10, 2007

Traveling freak show

Our family's anticipation of an awe-inspiring ever so quiet (hee-hee) vacation in the Outer Banks was sure to be a laugh track we would cherish for years. The Griswald's at best! Quiet, no not on your life, especially since Larry would be joining us. always good for a few laughs and providing the girls cooperated.

We were going to celebrate the marriage of Danny and Carrie. ( my son-- what? will s'plain later). The unvarnished truth. Such are the diabolical, synthetic sounds of amusement that will surely plague the sunny beach house that we had rented for a short week with our friends and family. If those walls could only talk.

The car was packed thinking back now I wish we had a mini-van (shut up-Sen) and we were ready to hit the road . The only thing missing was the dog and cousin Eddie! Straight out of National Lampoons' Vacation. We couldn't squeeze a sweet tart between us we were that tight. Only 13 inches between babies car seats and Mai to sit. Mai who would sit in between the girls for six hours *gage* with her long daddy long legs curled up under my seat. There was no room for a fart or worse the girls having a weapons of mass destruction! Of course I had fed(we're really not that smart) the little monkeys broccoli the day before. Aww, but it was going to be a great get-away and we were all going to have a good time well I was for sure!. Our first since returning from China a year ago. ( there was that mini one to Raleigh for a short weekend with the girls-Carrie, Dan you remember) Yeah, I was scared. We had vowed never to leave the house again with the girls after that trip. Yeah, Sen so true. Couldn't take any chances.....Nothing over 20 minutes in the car. We would be in the car this trip Six + hours. Must remember to take my meds, panic setting in.

No vacation is complete without the ultimate "slam". As much as you prepare yourself or as many times as you are insulted you never seem to see it coming. It's like a train wreck .The girls started getting cranky so we pull over in Williamsburg for dinner. Wendy's none the less. (this should be safe stop) My thought was if girls had a full belly they would sleep in the car until we arrived. A girl can hope. Anyway, I give a

sideways shout to everyone as we pull into the parking lot to put on a brave face, as we may get some stares. We are a traveling freak show on the rare occasion we do take the girls out. We inevitably get stares or comments. A lot are so curious if Mai (our au pair) is the mommy or the mistress or what we have going on! We're eating our bag diner and we notice this four top of elderly folks smiling, grinning, and pointing oh no, here they come when the older lady saunters over to our table. I'm thinking, this should be pretty harmless. She asks "are they twins"? I answer "yes, yes". "How old"? "They will be two in June". "How long have you had them"? blah, blah, blah. Then she hits me with the zinger. "So, are you the um friend or the grandmother"? "What"? Is she talking to me? Effing Idiot! To make matters worse my faithful hubby says after we get in the car "when I'm with the girls people ask me if I'm the older brother". Okay, liar. That made me feel much better. Drive.

We arrive at the house around 11ish. The girls wake-up and are obviously not going down anytime soon. *sigh* They're ready to explore every inch of this place that has no gates! We decided (corporate decision--between daddy and I) to keep them up. We were thinking they would sleep the next day until noon. *snicker* Unfortunately the little monsters were up at 7:00am and rip roaring ready to go. (didn't go to bed until after 2:00am) Katie slept between daddy and I no action for the one eyed monster that weekend-poor dh and Abbey slept with Mai. In the same room. ( I had volunteered to sleep with the babies and Mai sleep with daddy. -- hmmm don't think that was really what I meant.) Must remember not to eek a silent one out in the night... It was requested by Dan that Jeff bring his blow-up doll err mattress for Mai as we would all be sharing a room equipped with a full bath. You might call it a suite. Although we did trip over one another due to all the luggage .and extra double bed.

There was a moment when I actually shed a tear not even intoxicated. Sometimes we mommies just like to know that we are appreciated and noticed for all of our efforts and parenting skills. Jeff's bud Danny (the gorgeous groom--son) pulled me aside and gave me a big hug and told me that I was a really great mom. Wow. I was so touched. (he's my fav now). Especially since one of the relatives (no names mentioned) quipped while being introduced to her um- ahh-are you the groom's mom! Yeah, I look 60! Foot in mouth. Thanks. Can you believe it I get slammed twice in one week! You know my dh and his friends are all in their mid 30's and I am in my mid um...yeah that's it... late 30's. As I've been pondering over this, was it a comment just to be mean? Or cute? I didn't think it was cute. G-d knows I hadn't had a chance to be rude or unkind to the poor woman. ha ha. We all had a good laugh about it over numerous drinks. But really....

This was the girls first time to the beach. Sorry Claire--I know you wanted to experience this with them. Especially the beautiful south Florida waters...The expression on their little faces seeing the beach and water for the first time and their first time in the water! Not necessarily by choice. They both went running into the water with mommy on their heels Katie first. She stopped as soon as the water smacked her legs. Smart. Oh, it was cold. But as she stood there and looked at it she got dizzy. I could see it coming. Her little body weaving. Bam. She falls on her butt. I don't think I've ever seen her move so fast. Arctic waters. Abbey, not to be out done by her sis takes off running like a rocket. Full speed ahead. Head down and arms at side, just like a torpedo.We were cracking up. She too stops the minute her pudgy little legs hit the water but she keeps going. Instead of her falling on her butt she falls flat on her face! I nearly pee'd myself laughing. She had such a look of horror on her face. Needless to say neither one ventured out into the water again. They were pretty ok with digging in the sand and chasing daddy on the beach.

I am still grinning about our little "get-away". Yes, our au pair learned many new things. They taught her to play poker her parent's would be so proud (insert sarcasm) with the boys, shoot pool, shuck clams, sling back her first glass of champagne, (she's of age) and *gasp* walked on the beach with a boy. Ummmm, not a boy really--don't know what went on there but he swears " he did not have sex with that women".... I think another famous person said that too! You know who you are and you better not have.... ha ha... It was a good trip.... Back to my reality girls screaming and me too!

p.s. If I've ever had a conversation with you no matter how insignificant, well there's a pretty good chance I'm going to talk about it here... So make sure you don't say anything too stupid!


Beverly said...

Um yea, sounds like you had fun. So are you home and back into routine or is this just the beginning?


Cindy from central NC said...

Oh my gosh---I think I just read your entire blog without taking a single, that was fun. Actually, I did breathe when I was trying to catch my breath after laughing so hard.
You make me really look forward to our upcoming first beach trip next month.
That was fun....make more blogs like that....

Take care!

tegdirb92 said...

Awesome photos, Rony!

crazylady said...

Why are you thinking of moving further away from me? No one answer that except Rony! We'd have so much fun. Looking at the beach slumhut you rented...makes we long for a visit. As for the comments, I get it, ...not that you look old (you never did), but that people are just stupid beyond comprehension.
You are still and will always be one hot momma. Mia is so lucky to be getting such a great 'education' with you.

insanemomma said...

Crazylady, you know at Mother's Day approaches (our second--you and me) I'm a bit weepy. I guess for a lot of reasons. We doo have so much to be thankful for. And we are so very lucky that we were placed with such "healthy" babies. I am lucky to have found such an awesome friend and confidant in you. Although you know now from my site if we talk about it there's a pretty good chance you're going to read about it here! ha ha...

Ummm moving away from you. My dear you could get me in so much trouble!


Cindy from central NC said...

Hey all....I WANT her to move to a town in central NC....what a great place we live in down here.... :)