Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Butt Dust







What, you ask, is 'Butt dust?' Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine; no adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. 'I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

The Sermon: I think this Mom will never forget this particular Sunday sermon...
'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust.' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?

Now that's an Abbey statement!! LOl.

16 comments:

Rhonda said...

Too cute!

Years ago, a friend of mine and I were walking home from high school and a little kid was standing in front of his public school (he had to be about 7 or so). I think he was trying to test out a new insult and look cool in front of his friends and yelled "YOUR BRAINS ARE UNDONE!" I've never forgotten that, it still makes me giggle to this day.

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

LOVE IT!!!!
Please tell me you didn't start cracking up.????
I would have...
Have a Great Day ..
Thanks for the laugh.. can always count on you..
Love ya..

Jewels of My Heart said...

roflol Oh, thanks! what a way to begin my morning..... too cute! My favorite one was the flea.... I didn't get it at first and had to go back to read it... and then I cracked up... I don't know why it just tickeled me. I love the Butt Dust one too....
Out of the mouth of babes......
love ya

kerri said...

LOL.
You always know just when to post something that makes me laugh, I love Rhonda's comment too!! LOL.

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

You just have to love kids... I love their innocence... give me a ton of kids anyday...

Karen and Bob said...

Too, too cute! I am going to have to start writing down my "Kailee-isms"!

Come visit the private blog!

Kristy said...

TOO FUNNY!!!

...There was a hillbilly couple walking out of divorce court and all the while the wife was just crying up a storm and that is when the husband says, Oh for God's sake, stop crying your still my SISTER!!!!!

hehehehe

Snowflowers Mum said...

thanks for the giggle.

I liked the bury the Mum outside the window....too funny!

H

Heza Hekele said...

I think I just read the story of my life with kids! Bennett's latest favorite is asking highly inappropriate questions in public...very kind of him!

Mr.Brian said...

An Art Linklatter moment for sure.
Gotta love them kids!!!

Julie said...

Hilarious!
Julie

operationtigerlily said...

As a kid I always thought Gods name was Howard. When we would say the Lords Prayer "Our father who art in Heaven, Howard be they name..." I SWORE Howard was his name. Actually I still do.

Gail said...

Hilarious...absolutely these. You made me LOL for a while! Miss Grace is quite the one for asking older women about their wrinkles. Of course I want to turn invisible or crawl away or something. Yikes.

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

Hope you are having a Great Weekend...
Miss ya like always..
I know you are busy, so I will just make sure to send ya my love her and there...LOL.
Have a Great Sunday....

Amyesq said...

When I read the first part of your entry I was thinking, "I don't really like butt jokes" but by the time I got to the end, I was absolutely howling with laughter. So great!

Qiuqiu's parents said...

Those are brilliant! NOthing like a kid to make you see from a new perspective.