The first step......

Someone had asked me several months ago what kept me going during the long wait. My heart breaks for all of you who are anxiously waiting on your forever family. Still waiting. I too remember the pain as if it were yesterday. So much angst and despair. Like so many of you I questioned why no had answers. How could they not know "when" we were going to get our babies? No. One. Knew. Anything. Well, that's what they said anyway....But what I knew was that I was not cuddling and loving my baby. My arms hurt to hold her. I have hinted strongly hinted numerous times how I suffered with anxiety. I was not kidding. I did. Severe. I would have periodic blackouts in the middle of the day. I found myself in the car driving and wondered what and where I was going? True. My mind wandered. A lot. I even on more than one occasion convinced I was having a heart attack. But, I found a confidant. A coach. A mentor. A friend. I listened to her as if I were paying her handsomely. I did exactly as she instructed. No questions asked. I researched. I took classes. She was supportive. She was my flotation device. I don't know if she knew that she single handedly kept me from drowning in my own anxiety. I have only ever shared this with a handful of people however I want all of you to see what got me through the long painful months of waiting for "the call". I hope you all know I'm here for you too. Enjoy....



You've probably guessed by now that she was the one who held my hand and wiped my brow during the darkest day. She assured me it would be ok. She was right. She said I had to believe. I trusted her more than I've ever trusted anyone. This person I'd never met. But she blew me away when she made a page for the girls lifebooks. Friends like her don't come along too often in life. I admire, and adore her. You touched my heart. Thank you Sen.