Thursday, September 27, 2007

B.C. (before children)


Once upon a time it was just me and the boy. When we had sex. Good sex. Everywhere. Don't read this mil or you'll never have Thanksgiving dinner with us again. Err, at our table. But, that was b.c. (before children) Not that I don't still fantasize about my fh and fondle myself in that "special" spot, but honestly, I'm tired. So, so tired.

Fh and I on the steps of the Majectic Hotel moments seconds before becoming parent's. Look at us. Do we look put together? Scared shitless? If you think so you should have seen us the following day. What a sight we were. This would be our last day as a twosome. EVER. No more
sex uninterrupted spontaneous do you want to get naked purring like an animal on your knees moments with me your wife who still digs your ass?! Yes, this is our life. Notice the posh diaper bag. Of course it Juicy. Did you really ask?! Had to have it Ask fh. Paid a fourtune for it. True. For any of you raising wild boars twins you know all so well you need two hands and sometimes another body!! At any rate we were in total bliss. Every nose hair plucked and hair in place. We wanted to impress the officials. Like they were really looking at us. We did look pretty sharp. Right?! I was wearing my favorite "Goldie Hawn" pants and they made my ass look soo slim. Yes, it was the pants that made my ass look slim. Shzz. this was the last time you would see me in lipstick and perfectly coiffed hair in well... where is my lipstick and where is my clip?!

Note: Juicy bag was replaced with a "rockin" backpack for those moments when I need to take off in a flash chasing out of control kids!

37 comments:

kris said...

What? You're not gonna post some pics of the swingin' BC times???

Sophie's Mom said...

Girl, you crack me up! Hope you had blinds on all your windows, or maybe that was part of the fun! (wink, wink!)

And I'll bet you wouldn't go back to the BC days for ANYTHING.

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

Yeah... got to love those BC days...
But guess what...
Those days are a dream..
Now it is Fantasy Land...
You have the cutest little girls... and they are the BEST...
And by the way..
You don't have to have makeup on to look good..
Have a Great Evening Girly..
Kim

Katie J said...

There are lots of things that change, huh?

Cindy from central NC said...

Ha Ha...Kim is right...you don't need any make-up to look good..You already look terrific.
Oh my oh my how life has changed. I remember all those evenings I'd come home and just lounge around....go work out....cook something fun....just hang hang...Now it is "@#@! to the walls" every minute every second....ahh....but having babies is the great second part of our lives...
Take care. Have a great Friday, I'd love to talk tonight! (I figured something came up with you last night..no biggie)
Hugs,
cin

jennifer said...

You are too funny. And you look great standing on those steps, but I'll take messed up hair with the girls any day! I know you would too. I will tell you, it gets better. After being pregnant or nursing for almost 6 years, and then getting through the two's, it has finally gotten better. The lipstick has returned! At least some of the time. So has the sex. Hang in there!

Elizabeth said...

ha, ha, ha!! Ok, ok, I get the message. So the grass really IS greener on the other side!? I'll do my best to continue to enjoy my BC life!! I'm going to go get cocktails and maybe some sex later tonight. I'll report back later. :)

stephanie said...

You're crazy. You look as fabulous today as you did then. Please don't ever tell my husband that you had all that sex before kids. He may start to think he got the short end of the stick.

Sam said...

But you know what? I think you are more beautiful now than you ever were then! Love ya!

Christy said...

OK, that is totally funny. I totally get it. I remember sitting with my 2 boys when they were babies (23 months apart) and looking at the clock and it was noon and I was still sitting there with my boobs hanging out still in my pj's. THen I grew up and the boys got older (now 7 and 9) and then came little Mia and I feel like i am in the same position (minus the boob thing). Still in my pj's till early afternoon and pretty much no makeup.

Love your post and oh how true!!

Christy :)

cougchick said...

Honestly? Your fh looks scared shitless in that picture! That ROCK on your finger is hu-friggin-mongous! Diamonds are a girl's best friend unless you aren't gettin' any then it's something else entirely. Ha!
You'll get your sex again someday. For now get sleep when you can and get a massage, facial, pedi or whatever it takes to have a few moments to yourself. Grab an overnighter at a hotel with the fh and swing from the chandeliers!

DAVID AND AMY VENN'S WEBSITE said...

I am crying I am laughing so hard!!! You are tooo funny. Glad to know somone else is in my boat...and we only have one baby!! ...Sometimes she feels like two with how busy she is... Thanks for checking in on us. He is better. We are just trying to catch up around here. I am home today, our nanny is sick. I may just have some time to update our blog....not like you, though!! You win for the very best blog yet!!! :-)
Keep it up....I find myself looking forward to the laugh from your blog....Gotta share this one with the dh!!!!!

Beverly said...

Great retro pic. You both look very nervous. A bit stiff even.

Beverly

Amy said...

Your daughters are beautiful & I love your blog!

Christine said...

You two look fabulous. "impressive" Amazing how much thought & time you could spend on details B.C.
It gets to be a sad story when you end up discussing a sex time.

Heather said...

The truth --- just the truth! And yes, you look perfect BC! But I am sure you look pretty perfect now too - with those lovely little girls hanging off each side of you!

Beautiful family!

heather

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog!!! You have the best sense of humor and story telling than anyone that I have had the pleasure to read in a long time! I am a grandmother to an adopted girl from China - and found your site several months ago. Keep giving us smiles. Your daughters are beautiful!!!

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Lol. No, we don't pull the blinds. Figured give our neighbors something to giggle about. You'd think with all the "running" after the kiddies my arse would look much better in my skimpy thong. But, no such luck.

Ms. Anon. I wish I knew who you were....thank you for visiting and I do hope you'll return. I have a tendency to say it like it is. I'm glad you like the entertainment here. It's a real movie.reality at it's best!

Mr.Brian said...

twas the last night of peacefull rest.A spotless house,just me time and not to mention the other things you have mentioned.
But I bet you would not change a thing for all the money in the world (most days).
Your little blessing are so darn cute.
Have a great weekend.Pawn the kids off on dad for a few hours and go to the mall ,shop,get the nails done have a few drinks then go back home.Yeah you can tell the old man I suggested it.What is he going to do come through my screen and beat me up?????
Yeah I talk big since I have no spouse or kids.Would be a way different story if it were me being home with the little blessings.
Let me know if it works!!!!
Have a simply wonderful weekend.

kerri said...

Sex?? What the heck is that, we are lucky if we can roll into each other on the bed to kiss goodnight(inserting sigh here).
I just keep reading and fantasizing through you my lovely.
*wink* :O)

Salome's Mom said...

Oh my God you are so like me it is scary! I plucked, perfumed, my hair was perfection as were my clothes, I put on lipstick, I was so styling and I had a leather diaper bag. I am laughing so hard, my diaper bag now is now something I cannot even name. You want to get a sober look at me now? Go to my blog and you will find me there complete with a huge zit in the middle of the forehead.

Jeff and Valerie said...

I have no idea how you manage two cute girls. I have trouble with just one and am tired all the time.

You both look great in your last just the two of you photo!

Steffie B. said...

Laughing my ass off in "Thing Land"....that was great! I soooo needed this this morning as I seem to be stressed to the freaking max!

Smooches....have a great weekend!

The Real Me said...

Looking good! No wonder the two of you couldn't get enough of each other!

But on the dining room table? So that wasn't a gravy stain on the table cloth like you said???

Another thing; I thought that pants w/a print makes your ass look GINORMOUS? (not yours personally, hun!) I would be referring to MINE. And don't wear white after Labor Day. I guess times have changed, and I need to get with the program.

redmaryjanes said...

Girl, you are gorgeous and so are your girls!
Love the picture and yes, I remember those days of free sex. Yeah, now it's more like what sex?

Ms. Dragonfly said...

How the hell could those pants make your ass look slim?? the print is very ....eye catching.... were you trying to divert attn from your tatas?
Just teasing you.
Love thatyou caught the last seconds of your former life on film.
And they lived happily ever after...

Heather said...

What a great picture and you STILL look great even if you don't wear lipstick anymore!

Our Red Thread Journey said...

So NO MORE?!? EVER? Say it isn't so!

Seriously, after 17 months of waiting for our referral, I am SO ready for babies.

I read your site every day and try posting, but sometimes it crashes my computer for some reason. I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know how much I enjoy your blog!

secret agent said...

I agree......... your ass must be smaller than you are trying to make us believe
NOT ENOUGH MONEY for me to wear printed pants

I've been dreaming of DLR
not THE MAN .....is that bad????

barkfoot said...

Too tired for sex?...If you've run out of energy it's still one of the few things you can do lying down! Try harder!

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

I could stand on my head in a corner and sleep too.....

Anonymous said...

Love this. I would love to see the GOTCHA moment in pictures. :-)

maia said...

LOVE the pants. I would TOTALLY wear those. Although patterned pants make my butt look bigger, not smaller! (See photo I just put on my blog). But I wear them anyway, in defiance. Love the diaper bag too. I already have two...and I'm still a year from motherhood, is my guess.
Off to have sex with my still-childless husband...

Lisa M. said...

I'm here to tell you that, your sex life, make up application, and pattern pant wearing will makes it way back after the twins. Believe me. In my case just in time for Ms. Tigerlily to arrive.

Lori said...

Gorgeous picture of the two of you, you ARE looking very together, but you still do, so what's the big deal?! :) Your husband does look a little scared, but it's cute scared. :D
If I ever come up to visit you, don't bother making dinner, we'll go out. :0

MississippiZen said...

you are too funny ... and you make me laugh every time I visit :)

Kimber said...

You do look HOT there! I am with ya sister! Too tired for anything!

Kim