Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Ripe beyond





We were hurriedly running out the door this morning to register Mai for summer classes. Of course we were running don't act all surprised. Barely remembered to brush teeth and slap some deodorant on. Would hate to offend anyone with my sweet pungent afternoon smell. We manage to get out the door at 9:00am kids in tow without my morning coffee. This is mommy's crack. First stop --Starbucks. As I'm placing my order my girls sit in the back laughing and chanting "mommy's coffee, mommy's coffee, mommy's coffee". They know.

We're standing in the registrar's office looking over the schedule when the hairs in my nose begin to curl. I think to myself, "oh, please g-d not now". I look over my shoulder and notice that Katie has both feet firmly planted and a look on her face that said "no, not now mom, this is good ". I take a peek in the ole' diaper and sure enough she's had a massive explosion! I shift into stealth mode and start waving my arms and shouting instructions as if we were landing a jet! I holler at Mai to go to the book store and buy her books as I scoop Katie up in my arms, grab Abbey's hand and take off running as if it were the winning touchdown and for her to meet me back at the car! My eyes were burning due to the smell. Must get outta' there fast before they need to fumigate. The smell was permeating through the air and quickly.

Next on our list the DMV. With the girls. Dh suggested waiting until girls were napping. But, no the DMV is never busy. Well that was what I said anyway. Dh really did think I was crazy. Yes, I am a gluten for punishment. At any rate Mai needed to get her drivers license and she needed to pass-today. School starts next week.

You can imagine my anguish as we pulled in the parking lot and see the line around the building. Shit,shit,shit. My luck. We have no choice but to wait. It is now 10:53am. I remember thinking when we finally got to the front of the line and after the monkeys had fanned my dress(they thought it was funny) and ass for everyone to see "well that was pretty quick". It was 11:25am. Little did I know that we would be there until nearly 3:00pm! You ask what did my girls do to entertain themselves?! They pulled everything out of mommy's purse! One item at a time. Ok yes, I was embarrassed when Abbey pulled my tampon out and was wielding it around like it were a strobe light. Je-sus I couldn't grab that big fat super size thing fast enough as she ran off giggling and squealing.

I thought we would be safer outside as we were coming up on nap time and well, I was expecting a melt down at any moment. (Hind sight we may have gotten out of there a lot sooner had the girls had a little tantrum). Just my luck Abbey has an explosion too. I changed her on the lawn in front of the DMV. Class act.

Finally shortly after 2:00pm Mai takes her road test and passes!!! Yea!! We were excited and tired. Thank goodness I don't have to go through that again. Well, until the next au pair arrives...... too soon as far as I'm concerned! Hopefully Miss Mai will be with us for a couple of years.....

14 comments:

redmaryjanes said...

There's nothing like a great diaper at the wrong time. At least it didn't leak!

Jewels of My Heart said...

Your posts are more amusing than any sit-com on TV... thank you for my morning chuckle... heheeee

Sophie's Mom said...

Funny! Ah, and it is just your life.

I remember changing a poopy diaper inside a Pizza Hut, right at our booth, because they didn't have a baby changing station in the bathroom. That will teach 'em... What kind of family restaurant doesn't have a baby changing station????

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

TOO FUNNY!!!
Yeah.. if you have to go poop.. you have to go poop...
Glad Mai has her license..
Have a GREAT 4th of July...
Kim

kris said...

Okay. Good tips in this post for my future. What not to do, those sorts of things.

But I'll remember, no matter what, that it's perfectly acceptable to change a stinky in front of any public building. On the lawn. Gotta give you props for that.

Cindy from central NC said...

Ok. Rony. I have a very serious question for you. Do you think Sammi and Nicki's hair (see latest blog) is now long enough for me to bunch up a wad of their hair into "pig-tails?"....I just gotta know....And, what kind of bands do I use....surely not the kind that comes with the newspaper?
So eagerly awaiting your reply,
Cindy :)

P.S. Your pics are very very cute. My fav one is the last one with the striped stylin' hats...

Sam said...

HeeHeeHee!!! BTDT! Kieren decided to load her diaper the other day at Target while we were in line for her meds. Luckily (for me anyway), my mom took her for a quick change. I have no shame. I stripped Kieren down to her birthday suit last night at fireworks.

Mr.Brian said...

Well that was just the shits of a day.Call me crazy but I always enjoy a good poop story.
Darling little girls you have.Wait till they both start driving.Look out!!!!

Diana said...

Sounds like a great day!!! Exactly why I rarely venture out unless absolutely necessary. Love the last pics with those hats......Stylin' babies.

crazylady said...

That my girl. Change them on the sidewalk, in the grocery isle, anywhere. When you gotta go , ya gotta go.
LOVE the hats missy momma.
I know what you'll be doing this evening to serenify the senses.
Don't drink the whole lot at once.
Happy July 4th.
BTW, what is the DMV doing open on your nations birthday?

nikki said...

Too funny! Diaper explosions I have had my fair share of experience with, but TIMES TWO!???
Oh my!

Love the pics -- such beauties your girls are.

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

DMV --- yesterday... July 3rd... Not drunk but gotta jump the man...

Beverly said...

I felt really badly for your experience here today but must also say I laughed my arse off!!

Bev

Diana said...

Oh ya, have to tell you that I had to do a double take at your second photo of ? (no, I can't tell them apart...enough to keep my 2 straight), thought it was SOPHIA...seriously. Freaked me out a little.