Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Do I remember?


Someone asked recently if I would share our adoption story. I must admit I was a bit stunned then flattered. I mean, someone wanted to know our story. I've never thought of us as all that interesting(yes, jaded and sarcastic--me that is) or exciting so I guess I was a surprised. We're like so many other families. Dysfunctional. Don't hide your head in the sand. We all have our problems. Even the best of families. Some not as noticeable as others. But we manage to get through the day with a smile and in some cases a bwaha bwaha. Some days are fucking harder than others. That's why wine was invented....for mommy. *wink*


For those of you who don't know I married the boy next door. Yes, it's true. Back Street Boys with the sheer babe factor. He was more than I'd hoped for in a partner and lover. No need to go there.... We began our friendship as friends. Just friends. After all he was 10 years my junior. But he became much more than that. My confidant. My companion. And yes, my friend. We did everything together. He even tagged along as I did my Christmas shopping. This before I knew that he was Jewish. I adored him. Still do. The love was just so natural. I knew I would be his wife long before he did. What I didn't expect after so many years of being single and alone was that we would not be able to conceive our own children. For anyone who has experienced this you know all too well the feeling of loss for something you've never had. A real emptiness. After many, many test and the results always the same, "inconclusive" my doctor told me what I already suspected. My time had passed. I had expired eggs. Damn old effin' eggs. I had left my first marriage almost 10 years earlier just barely 30 because he didn't desire to have children. Now here I was with the man I loved and I couldn't give him children. I was not prepared for this. I didn't expect not to have my own children.

With a lot of soul searching we decided we still wanted a family and now more than ever. We made the decision to adopt and yes we (me with a little prodding) asked for twins. Jeff was nervous. But, not me. I said, "what would it hurt to ask"? Right? Besides our agency had cautioned us that the odds were so very slim. We were approved to adopt twins. We somehow passed that test. We didn't put much faith at all at being matched with twins however. I had read the statistics(lowest multiple rate of all countries) for adopting twins from China. It did not look good. This is about the time I met her. She said we fit the profile. No children and the extra criteria nexessary for twins. She said we would get twins. How could she know? She was so sure. I on the other hand didn't want to believe. Oh, how my agency must have hated my repeated calls to remind them of my desire to adopt twins.(I didn't want them to forget about me). I remember her telling me one day don't call anymore. What, I don't understand. She said "they know, don't worry". I wanted to believe. I did not want to get my hopes up. So, we only chose one name. I didn't want to allow myself to be disappointed when we got the call and there was just one baby. I wanted to be happy whatever we were matched with. I had heard of families who were angry or disappointed for not being matched with twins. They are out there and yes I've met them. So sad....

After many excruciating delays lost packages and anxiety we finally received word that the "Stork had landed". I was working that day. We knew we would be getting a phone call regarding our referral we just didn't know when. It was January 25th 2006. I fought it with all that I had but I could not concentrate on work. It was just too difficult. I could not focus. I was jumpy. I kept looking at the clock. I did not want them to call me on my way home from work in rush hour traffic. Not D.C. traffic. I remember looking at the clock. It was 4:59pm. I was agitated. No, I was pissed. I had not gotten the call yet. I had seen on the group site(you all know of this I'm sure) I belonged to the referrals had started rolling in. There were no reports of twins. I had a sinking feeling we were not going to be matched with twins. I started to log off my computer when the phone rang. My heart nearly stopped. As I write this the feelings all come hauntingly back to me as if it were yesterday. I looked at the caller I.D. on my phone. It was my agency. My heart skipped a beat. I answered the phone. My hands were shaking. The person on the other end said "this is Lacee from Great Wall China Adoption". I let out a sigh and said "I know, I've been expecting your call". My head was spinning. I was holding the typed questions I had memorized and wanted to ask. But there were no words on the paper. Everything was a blurr. Then I heard her say "I'm looking at your beautiful baby girl...I let out a gasp and she continued "and her beautiful twin sister". I didn't think I heard her right. "Did you say twins"? Oh my g-d. Seven months old?! I couldn't think straight. I was thinking who will I call first? She said she was e-mailing their referral picture. And then their they were. They were the most perfect, beautiful little girls I could have asked for. They were mine. I couldn't stop saying "Oh my g-d they're huge", they are so big." They were healthy! I asked if she had called Jeff and she said she had, but he told her not to tell him any details but to call me as I would want to be the first to know. Naturally. As always Jeff thinking of me. Then the shock set in. Two. Two of everything. We had one bed and a friend was letting us borrow it. That was it.

We spent all evening on the phone calling family and friends. My neighbors threw a baby shower that would put most bridal showers to shame. Champagne, chocolate fountain. They bought everything. Literally everything.

If you asked me did we expect to be matched with twins I would have to tell you "not at all". Were we surprised. Damn straight! Were we excited? Beyond belief. Life is not anything what it once was but I would not trade what I have for anything in this big wide world. I feel like the luckiest woman on this earth. I have great kids, and I have a husband that is truly out of this world and I have her.

So, there you have it..... that's my story...be careful for what you ask for your wishes just may come true. Mine have. You ask, do I remember? I'll never forget. For the record she was right. She always is. For the record if you are lucky enough to know someone like her count your blessings. Thank you sweet friend.

Enjoy pictures of my babies. It doesn't get much cuter than this.

35 comments:

shelley said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Cute pics...of course.

shelley

Salome's Mom said...

The babies are stunning. I am touched by your story, thank you for sharing it. It is truly beautiful.

Yoli

Anonymous said...

Now this is a GREAT story.

Beverly said...

What a great story. Yes I am supremely jealous of twins. But I was never angry that Glenys was one not two. Funny I don't remember thinking anything about her being a singleton. I didn't even calculate her age. I just kept thinking how cute and angry she looked in her pic.

Your referral came on our 6 month gotcha day anniversary.

Beverly

Sophie's Mom said...

Enjoyed your story. We, too, requested twins, but were 99.9% sure we wouldn't get them, because we already had two children. We didn't meet the 'criteria'. We thought it wouldn't hurt to try, though.

Sometimes I do think, oh my... what if there were TWO SOPHIAS! LOL

Contrats to you and your beautiful girls!
Christine

crazylady said...

you know that all I did was empower your own faith right? I am no magician, no fortune teller, no clairvoyant, but some things I just feel in my heart. Like I do you.
The only thing I know is that together, we were meant, and destined to save us from ourselves. One good friend is all anyone can ask for. Thank you dear friend.


Isn't everyone just sick of hearing about our love affair yet?

Sophie's Mom said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
;)
Christine

Heather said...

I love your story! Thank you for sharing. You are *SOOOOO* good about leaving comments on my blog (I'm so bad at that!)... I love it how right there you are. Your girls are absolutely adorable, as always. And your story is so honest. Thank you for blogging! I just tagged you for a meme. :)
http://johnson-mccormickfamily.blogspot.com/2007/06/5-things-meme.html
~Heather

Mark & Michelle said...

I just have chills reading this.

Thank your for sharing your story.

We too are hoping for twins - we speak of everything in the multiples. Yes we would love twins, but a beautiful and healthy baby is more then anyone can ask for...except for them/her to come BEFORE the pension cheques!!

LOVED all the pictures!!

Ms. Dragonfly said...

I don't understand why you would be shocked to think we might want to hear your story. I hang off of everyone else's journeys.
Every single one of them validates my own.
Every singleone is magical and beatiful full of heartache and headspinning joy.
Yours is no exception.

Julie said...

Great story! Whenever I read them it brings all those feelings rushing back like it just happened yesterday. We will have been home with MA 3 years this July and her referral anniv was June 7.

Thanks for taking me down memory lane!

Julie

Miss Cleo said...

great story. thanks for sharing.

Jewels of My Heart said...

I love your story... they are so beautiful and now your prayers have been answered and you have been blessed with YOUR OWN CHILDREN.... TWINS....
How I love happy endings... and beginnings...

The Happy Momma said...

We asked for twins too, but were blessed with the most energetic, fun and exciting little girl. I think it was someone's way of saying that there's no way we could have handled two the same age at the same time! Whew!!! :o)

Steffie B. said...

I am sitting here at my computer with tears in my eyes and applauding you all the way! Beautiful story Rony......beautiful. As far as you and Sen go.....I love reading about your friendship.....I think it is wonderful!

secret agent said...

I I WANT WANT TWINS TWINS TOO TOO!!
or triplets
great story... they are beautiful girls.

mommy24treasures said...

thanks for the story... The pics are cute you are right it doesn't get any cuter...

eggrolls and chopsticks said...

We asked for twins but were and still are so greatful for Lily and now we know twins would have not been a good plan. LOL

BTW, your bloody story made me cry!

Side by Side said...

Thanks for sharing your story. I always love hearing how families come together.

Those pics are so sweet. They definately are busy little girlies.

nikki said...

I love reading everyone's stories -- the details are always a bit different, but the goosebumps, tears, and joy are the same. Your girls are so beautiful and your "love affair" with that crazy lady is something I will never tire reading about. Everyone needs a friend so true. (I have that in my sister)
And your hubby is dreamy... lucky gal!

redmaryjanes said...

I love your story and it's a great one for all of us who need to believe that our dream can come true. Your girls are beauties!! I love all of your pictures, and they always have great hairstyles.

Liz said...

What a sweet post this is - your babies are absolutely beautiful - thanks for sharing your story!

Diana said...

Ahhhh, now that's a great story! So beautiful, I have goosebumps.
Our story is so very different, may have to post it sometime.

Thanks for taking the time to share.

P.S. Is one of the twinkies drinking from the plate?

LaLa said...

Love your story..we asked for twins too...why not? Of course I couldn't handle two Annslees LOL

As always, beautiful pics of some beautiful girls

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Thank you all for your warm words. I sometimes ask myself why us, but I do believe the "big guy" had a plan. It was all meant to be and yes, I now have the family I always wanted. My own children as someone put it.

See you tomorrow for "blast from the past"!

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Oh yeah, I do think dh is "dreamy" too....

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

I loved reading your story.. It is a hopeful story for us who have a very long wait.. All of the families that are home make it easier..
Great pictures.. they are the cutest..
Kim

Jeff and Valerie said...

A little tear falls from my eye. So sweet and perfect! What a day you must have had. I got the call at 9AM and thought I was going to lose it. You had to wait ALL DAY! Yikes! Cute girls ... very cute girls!

Cindy from central NC said...

Hello hello, Rony!
Oh Rony.....your story truly made me cry (the good cry)...I am sniffling as I am writing this. It is an amazing story. I am so glad you wrote this post. What a phenom and incredible treasure this blog will be to your girls when they get older and can read and review it. Wow for you.

Well, we're back in earnest. Lots and lots happened in 2.5 weeks...vacation that got extended (yay) and then a brand-new job at work....so much better...but you know how new jobs are. I'm feeling back in the swing of things. We're going away this weekend (backpacking with the girls!!) but I'd love to chat...maybe Sunday evening or next week? It'd be great to hear you again!!
So...now I get to snuggle down this morning and get all caught up on your and others' posts!
Take care, Rony. :)
-Cindy

tegdirb92 said...

you kept your "secret' well in our 27 group because I didn't even know that you were "expecting" twins. They are adorable :)

kris said...

Oh god I'm a blubbering fool over here. Can I come sic my camera on your beauties? The pics might come out blurry cuz I'm cryin' and all... but I'd give it a shot.

Thanks for sharing. I feel much closer to you now. And I love what you wrote about what we wish for... and that we get it. I forget how badly I want it being so far from it now. But it's nice to see dreams come true. Times 2.

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

I was afraid to share my secret with anyone. I'm glad that I had Sen who I felt I could trust enough to share the dream.

Kris, I would love for you to take shots of my girls! Your photography is beautiful. It's as if I'm right there with you. Very real. You will get exactly what you asked for too. I'm sure of it.

A Special Family said...

what an AMAZING post and cute pictures!
Brought tears to my eyes!!!

Heather said...

What a heartwarming story. Thank you for sharing and I'm so happy that you got your family.

Kay said...

Love your story!