Sharing?

Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.....

welcome to my world. :)

Abbey: "Mom ----eeeeeee"

Me: "Yea, Abbey"

Abbey: "I gotta poo-poo"

Me: "OK, tell me when you're done "

Funny I didn't think anything of the laughing and giggling coming from the loo. I should have known....

Abbey: " Mom-meeee I'm done. Come wipe my butt".

Me: "Cooooomingggg"... peeking my head in..I started to laugh.

Abbey: "Look mom, I pooped"

Katie: "Me too"!

Me: "Together? Great...."?

Abbey: "Yeah".....

Katie: "Uh-huh" head bobbing....

Now, if they'd just learn to wipe one anothers butts! They must really love one another to take a dump with the other one sharing the throne"....

Today I'll be...

Conversation with little Miss Fancy Pants this evening as she's crawling up in my lap:

Me: "Hey Katie, what did you and Abbey do today"?

Katie: "That's not my name"!

Me: "What do you mean Katie"?

Katie: "I'm Baby Chicken"!

Me: "Well, ummm, oh hell ok, you're Baby Chicken".

I wonder who she'll be tomorrow?

More, more, more...

My little twinkies simply take my breath away by their stunning beauty. Yes, I know I'm their mother, but I am in constant awe of not only how beautiful they are but also how incredibly smart and bright they are. Ok, well, yes my little miss fancy pants might be a kindergarten repeater, but hey that's ok. *Big grin* She knows all of her colors to receite them, just not always the correct color with the object. She definitely rides a different bus and marches to her own beat. Damn I love my girls. Here are a few more pix for you to inhale. G-d knows we have well over 25,000! (Sen will confirm). Don't worry, I won't post them all. Tomorrow. Bwahahaha.





No, she was not medicated!

Dreams Shattered..........

Daddy's got a. .......

Comedy Central you've been given notice. My girls are funnier than you! Bwahahaha. It's no secret nothing (I mean NOTHING) in our house is off limits regarding conversation. We yap about everything. But last night at dinner Katie had s.c.'s and I in stitches. The little people are talking... IN FULL SENTENCES. Remind me to buy more duct tape.... It's comedy central around here. And the admission is FREE!

Katie: "Daddy's got a little one"! Giggling and pointing......

Me: "Umm, what honey" trying not to choke? Yes, she does shower with daddy, but she has nothing to compare it to..... regarding size that it.....yet!

Katie: "Mommy's got a bit one"! Giggling and pointing.....

Me: "Mommy has a big what"? Thinking surely she doesn't mean my shapely rear...insert hysterical laughter.

Katie: pointing at daddy's glass and then mommy's glass... "daddy's is little and mommy's is bigger".

Me and S.C. "yeah, that's what she meant,"! Daddy's glass was almost empty and mine was full.....

One. Two. Three.

Three. Sets. Of. Twins. AND Three mommy's. All the same age. All with full-time careers. All politically on the same page (big D's) and, six little girls all potty training...and...did I mention three first time mommy's all packed with their cameras? It was one of those movies I didn't want to end. Evvvv-eeer. The tale tell signs of their scent no longer lingers in the air. I cried my eyes out when they were gone. I was so damn sad. The house was quiet. In comparison. We. Had. So. Much. Fun. I sooo believe in fate. I know that is why Annie and hubby were meant to be in China at the same time we were. AND from our neck of the woods. And it was by no mistake that Cindy and I would meet in "cyber space" and she would become one of my favorite people. The support from these two twin mom's is undeniable. I adore both of them. I keep "hitting" the re-play button and re-living the fun, laughter and spills. By me too. And for a moment I can hear them giggling and squealing. Did we ever manage to finish one sentence? Or one thought?! Oh, thank you so much both of you! It was so special. I hope this is the beginning of a very long and lasting friendship.......What an encore....What next? Cindy's? Outer Banks????

Sen...you were talked about....see what happens when you don't make an appearance. Fun!

Too tired to talk about it....

After two weeks of non-stop giggles and grins with the girls. And,wine tasting parties, and a dinner party for one of S.C. friends and....and.... the "twinny" fest I have gone back to work! . My ass is dragging AND I'm exhausted. I haven't seen morning time this early since 1961! I am taking a break to adjust to my new schedule of getting up at oh-dark hundred and turning in with the cows. You won't see me posting at 2:00am.... and probably not after 8:00pm. I will post pictures and tales of our fun weekend with all the twins...ALL under three years old....and the super special twin mommies whom I have grown to love and adore.....A little sneak pre-view of what we mommies call "normal"....sweeeeeeet!.

Bed Hopping

We bed hopped our way through Ohio last week on a fun filled adventure. I can tell you who has the best soaps, (french milled) who's sheets are made for a queen and who has the fluffiest Egyptian towels ever. AND who makes a cup of java that literally makes me moist between the loins. Full lead! I enjoy my coffee. Nothing warms my heart more than to see the half and half starring back as I peer into the refrig and a nice bean to suck on. We were not in any spot long enough to settle in too comfortably. Five beds in eight nights. You would have thought we were on the run! No sooner had we arrived and carried in enough luggage for Paris Hilton then it was time to check-out. Brought back memories of my airline days but without the diapers. All the while dragging the piss potty into each hostel as if it were the golden latrine for the Queen herself.

After careful planning I had worked out the details of our travel itinerary. Remind me to have my head examined the next time I decide to travel with the gran-amals alone in the midst of a winter blizzard. Alone. To Ohio. Must have frontal lobotomy.

February 15, 2008 depart northern Virginia 9:00am 11:00am for Zanesville, Ohio to stay with sister and her husband in their humble abode. We had originally planned to stay with my parent's but my mom was really sick so had a change of plans last minute. Will catch them on the tail end of trip.

February 18th, 2008 depart Zanesville for Columbus to hang with long time friends Dex and Rock.

February 19th, 2008 depart Columbus for the emerald city of Dayton to stay with "The Wizard".

February 20th, 2008 depart Dayton for Westerville, Ohio to stay with long time friend "Jo-Jo".

February 21, 2008 depart Westerville, Ohio for T-ville, Ohio to finally visit with mom and dad.

February 22, 2008 return to northern Virginia. We got stranded an extra day due to the ice storm so didn't depart until Saturday. All was good as we were enjoying ourselves.

We finally arrived at my sister's after a slight detour due to my stupidity to turn on the nav system inability to recall that Ohio is north of Virginia! I did well in geography and I've made this trip a trillion times. I promise you. But as I recall the events leading up to our dash for the border I realized I left behind a marked material possession. My wedding ring. It was one of the first times in my life I remember feeling as if I'd left something behind. As I drove my heart felt really sad not to have sweetum's with me. Of course I would later discover there was speculation of "why" I wasn't wearing my rings.

Highlights and moments of our trip. Part I.

Well, within barely 24 hours of crossing the Ohio boarder we were sitting in the the the local ER with Katie. I'm not an alarmist, however when she started gasping for air I knew it was time to seek professional help. The doctor seemed to think my sister's dogs threw Katie into an attack. I would never have guessed it. We have a dog. Different dogs, different dander. He was hesitant to note it as an asthma attack, however hurriedly ordered a breathing treatment and predinzone stat. Within seconds she was running the halls and screaming in ecstasy. She would have a repeat performance the following evening minus the ER. Thank g-d I had the sense to fill the prescription he prescribed!
Anyway, after three fun filled hours of insert: sarcasm giggles and grins in the ER Katie was discharged. They ran the halls faster than Flo Jo racing for the finish line with their blankies draped around their necks yelling "Cinda-brella mommy look at me"! Licking and lapping the ER floors and using Pinky and Barney as a mop ---they did, oh, oh and singing at the top of their lungs. The single cutest moment was when Katie squealed "I got hiccup in my butt"! But no we would spend yet another 30+minutes there charming them with their undeniable cuteness. Why you ask were we still there? Someone *cough* sister left the lights on in the car. The staff could not have been any nicer. They treated us like movie stars. The security guard jumped me my car and then delivered my children to me as if they were his own flock. Sweet man. He got a good chuckle out of knowing that I had know idea where the hood release was!

While shopping at the mall the next day I ran in to an old school mate. She had her two grandchildren with her yes, grandchildren who were about K & A's age. I know she thought K & A were my grandchildren as she asked twice if they were mine. She was as sweet as pie and still so darn cute. Anyway as the girls were skipping and jumping a mentally challenged girl asked if the girls were twins. Now, I assume she was "challenged "because of the conversation that transpired. I smiled and replied "yes, they are twins". She seemed to ponder this for a moment and said "are they the same age"? I looked at her and repeated again "yes, they are twins, they share the same birthday". She starred back at me and then started laughing and said "nah, they're not". To which I said "yes, they are". I walked away realizing she wasn't challenged. She was an idiot. I'm still laughing.

Sister's dahling man slave prepared a supper greater than the "last supper" for us. Deer Steak. Succulent. No surprise my sweetum's is not a hunter. Not of the four legged kind. At any rate we were tempted to stay another night!

The older I get the more unexpected "Flo" gets. So, it should be no surprise that I would spring a leak as we arrive to spend the evening with "the boys"! Not only did I forget my wedding ring, but my "protection" as well. Dex made the mistake of calling to see if we needed anything while out picking up our Chinese take-out. I figured, well, he asked why not. His response was "Pink or blue"?! My man wouldn't (ever) pick up my feminine stuff! The boys also tolerated the piss potty sitting in their dining room as we dined on gourmet Chinese. The girls would run back and forth peeing in the potty as we sat devouring our delicious meal sucking and licking our fingers. No inhibitions with those two. They'd drop their panties, pee and grab the potty and dump it in the sink. Kitchen sink! Eww.. Gross.

To be continued.........

p.s. All clothing and blankets were washed after the hospital visit...

Golden Shower?

Now that they're talking nothing and I mean nothing is off limits. The little peepers love nothing better than showering with their daddy and are usually stepping into the shower behind him. If our shower was bigger we'd all shower together as one big happy family. *wink* It's quicker too. Anyhoots, I was blow drying my wig when I over hear the following conversation.

Abbey: "Pee-pee mommy, pee-pee" giggling.....

Me: Raised eyebrows "What did you say"? Thinking surely dh has not whize'd on the girls?

Abbey: again squealing "Pee-pee" jumping up and down and still laughing.

Me: "Ummm, hey what's going on, did YOU (dh) pee in the shower"?

Dh: Very firmly "No, eyes rolling she has to go to the bathroom".

Me: "Honey, it's ok. You can pee in the shower". (Abbey, not dh!).

Abbey: "No, no pee-pee in the potty".

Me: Thank g-d. I thought for sure I was going to have to explain "golden showers" at the ripe age of 2 1/2 years old! What next?

What day is it?

Mommy dressed and ready to go. Lipstick in place. Check.

Daddy dressed. Check.

Mai dressed. Check.

Girls dressed in their finery. Check.

Dog locked up. Check.

Everyone loaded in and buckled up. Check.

Arrive at restaurant only to discover it's tomorrow! Chinese New Year Celebration.

Priceless.

As an added bonus I did get to spend the day with the family shopping and just relaxing....ALL DAY. I love my new life.

Update on the potty training. Day two and girls dry as the Sierra desert. Wearing diapers at nap and bed time. I'm not doing the pull-up thing. I think by golly they just may be getting it!!! Yea!!!

"Ride Sally Ride"

To summarize here is the sequel to what we fondly refer to as the "pursuit of happiness"! So I'm firing bullets at you. Duck. Take cover.

• Abbey finally oh thank g-d after 18 hideous months of attachment is sleeping through the night. We tried everything. I even sang. Well, that was probably part of the problem. But, I think it was the quilt my sister made for Ab's of my grandfather's clothing that finally comforted her at night. It's as if grandpa is watching over her as she dreams at night. Fm comment was "don't tell anyone that, it soo creepy". I don't care who knows. I'm sleeping. All night. FINALLY.
• I know what she has been dreaming about now too. She's been boffing Barney. That's right. I walked in on her riding Barney like a mechanical bull! Ride em Cowgirl! It became clear to me why she begged desperately for mommy to cover her head at night when tucking her in. Every night. She thought she could hide from me. She'll learn. Momma sees everything! I heard a familiar moaning coming from their bedroom the other night as we were crawling in. Not that the walls in our nest have heard any waking or quaking lately but well,now I know why she sleeps so soundly. Ride Sally, ride.....
• Abba aka "Sally" has recently started calling me "mum" and daddy "Jaaaaaw-freeee"! She thinks it's pretty funny. We do too, but are pretty firm on her calling daddy, daddy. She can call me "Mum" it sounds so aristocratic! lol.
  
• My free and easy child (Katie) has morphed into the devil in disguise. Ugggg-leeee. A one eye'd monster who when not getting her way reels her nasty head. She has a temper worse than mine. Needless to say she's been spending a little more time in her bedroom! Momma does not put up with that crap. EV-AR!
  
• Katie may be color blind. We can hold up a screaming red shirt and ask her "What color it this Katie"?. She smiles and very quickly and with self-assured confidence expounds "Bluuuuue"! Ahhhhhhh...... She is so unaffected by most things. Easy going, happy go lucky not a care in the world. Yes, she rides on a different bus.....
• Katie is our Little Princess. She exclaimed yesterday "mommy, feet" as she pointed to her feet. Me: "mmmm, yes those are your feet" to which Katie replied "I can't walk, carry me"! She is our "little princess don't let my feet touch the ground girly-girl"!
  
• Katie is our true girly-girl. She throws a fit if I try putting jeans on her. "No, mommy, dress"! AND, her bows and clips are always in place. Abbey, well that's another story. She looks as if she's been riding the bull.....
  
• We dry girls off with a towel fresh out of the dryer when bathing or showering. They love their warm towel. I know Sen, we are creating monsters.
• I knew the day would come and yes, I was dreading it. It was inevitable especially since the beefcake came into the picture. Mai had her first "overnight" with the boy! I was startled when she bolted through the door last night in a hurry. I know she's an adult,(24) but I worry about my girl. Anyway, she excitedly told us she was getting some clothes (me wondering why she needed clothes) because they were going "clubbing" and she was going to spend the night(what did you say?) with Wes. You can imagine my response. "Ohhhhhhhh". I wanted to ask, " Do you have protection"? "Are you prepared for this"? "Just remember, no means no".... I couldn't stop talking about it as we went to bed last night. Fm was hoping I would. I half heartedly asked Fm(which really meant I need to discuss this shit with her) "Do you think I need to have "the talk" with her"? He looked at me and rather firmly said, "She is an adult". Oh, he just doesn't get it. I hope he didn't stick his dippity dooo in her Venus fly trap! Not Fm, beefcake!!
  
• I assumed everyone read my blog. But, I recently discovered that my mom doesn't! Doesn't even skim it. Ever. Yeah, that's right. WTF? My mom's retort when asked (by family member)why she doesn't read it was "I don't want to know about that stuff"! What, your grandchildren? Or your daughter? Makes it sound like a bad thing. It's not as if it were a porn site! But why do I act so surprised? I keep hoping it will change. One. day. It makes me so sad what little interest they have in my girls or me. She will probably learn of this post as a few family members do read this stuff I call my life! I am more than grateful that nana insists upon being a part of the girls lives. She has been a part of their lives since we returned from China. And she flies in for her bi-monthly vacation, although she might not think of it as va-kay. Now that's love.
• Daddy and Mai both celebrated birthdays this month. Daddy turned 37 and Mai 24. I hosted a party for Mai and her friends complete with a home cooked Italian meal and cake from the Cheese Cake Factory. Beefcake came too. Pictures to follow.... I snuck a couple pictures of them sitting together. It looks as if they were afraid to touch one another! lol. They are very cute together and we do like him. Sweet guy. Daddy bought Mai the new razor and added texting on our plan for her. What a softy......

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The things they say

This is my most favorite stage with the girls. Spellbounding! The 4th of July and New Year's Eve all wrapped into one. They are so more cognizant of their turf. Sometimes too much. As I learned today.....

Abbey: "Mommy, what's that"? Squenting her little eyes to get a closer look.

Mommy: "What, baby". As I'm stepping out of the shower.

Abbey: "That". Creeping closer to me eyes peeled on the target.

Mommy: "What?". Knowing with Abbey there is no 'unexpected".

Abbey: Her gaze fixed upon my meticulously trimmed mound and squeals, "Mommies who-who" and then typical of Abbey reaches up and rubs it. Note to self: Must shave it all off....

p.s. There has been some mention *snort* how the girls would react when they got a glimpse of the one eye'd peeper. The girls shower with daddy. A lot. It was only a matter of time before they would notice the differences. Daddy was stepping out of the shower one morning when it happened. As they were playing in our bathroom when Abbey stopped in her tracks. Her eyes got really, really big. She could tell there was something oddly different about daddy today. And then there it was. This gigantic (wishful)---don't lie you too) thing hanging like a tether ball between daddies legs bouncing side to side. It tickled her. She got this wicked grin on her face and started squealing. I turned around as she was whacking his "man tool" as if it were a punching bag. Just waiting for it to bounce back up! Katie seeing this wanted a hand at it too. Fm immediately took cover. He did not think it was as funny.....

My Little Princess's

Momma, you shouldn't have! This is the look on their faces when I presented them with their new Cinderella dresses.

I question how it happened(nothing to do with them glued to the telly 24/7) but over-night the girls discovered make-believe. They have begged and pleaded with me for the last week to wear their holiday dresses to play in. They think they are the real Cinderella dresses. I wouldn't even consider it. As I think back I have to ask myself "why not" considering what the dresses cost. Anyway, I finally caved and agreed to buy them Cinderella dresses. Just so we're clear on something I am not one of those parent's that shower my kids with expensive gifts or possesions nor bribe them in anyway shape or form for good behavior. It's expected that they will be good. There is only one ruler in this kingdom. Moy. I refuse to jump through hoops or guilted into "keeping up". Oh, where was I? So, I ran over to Target and found the most beautiful (seriously) dresses.They only had one of each dress. I considered buying the Disney dresses to save a few bucks but there was no comparrassion. This was the dress Cinderella wore! I just knew it. I was caught up in it too. See for yourself. I cry my eyes out every time I gaze at them gliding down the staircase. Ahhh, beeee-you-tiful! I can picture them in 25 years! I hope I'm around to witness it.

Daddy's watch

Sunday's are daddy's day with the goooyls. Alone. I've often wondered what really goes on when I'm not around with my eagle eye . Me and fm discussing how the day went tonight. Boy was this a real eye opener......

Me: "So, how were the girls today"? Translation: I don't care to know if they were good or bad deal with it...

Fm: "Ummm, ok. Katie was a pain, but I just left her alone".

Me: "What do you mean"? Me looking at him with a puzzled look on my face.

Fm: "I gave the girls one of those expensive treats, you know the ones from the health food store that cost a weeks salary. heavy emphasis on cost.....

Me: "Mmmm, yeah what happened"? Could sense there was more to come...

Fm: "Katie unwrapped it and took one bite walked to the trash can and tossed it and said "Icky"!

Me: "Too funny. What did you do"? I laughed out loud--which fm did not think was funny.

Fm: "I fetched it out of the trash can and gave it to Abbey, she loved it"!

Me: "You didn't". I threw up in my mouth...I could see it now..."dumpster divin daddy".....

There you have it......

Follow the yellow brick road...

"Potty baby"..



"Please potty"...


"Let me see"...

Watching baby....

"Like this, mommy?"

Ahh, the many uses of the potty. Hopefully the "potty hat" will not become a popular trend. Rumor has it that they will be potty trained before going off to college. At that point sadly I'll be in diapers. Paybacks. What goes around comes around. Priceless......